it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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