Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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