i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
