cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just cut my nipple shaving
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
