Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
