The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i think my cat just said my name.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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