my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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