I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
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Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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