erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
