No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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