The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
