You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
