i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
