dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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