All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize