he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
