marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize