My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
