Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
