Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
