just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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