Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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