Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
