thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
