Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
