the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
