just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
