Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
that's an acceptable place to lick
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
