She's JV to your varsity
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
