So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
