After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
