Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
