I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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