Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
