I just threw up on my dentist
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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