okay pat passed out under dana's car
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
