Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
