if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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