by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
