Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
