oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize