He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
