i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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