Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
