whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
