**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
