I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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