I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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