You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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