They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
