I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...