and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize