what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.