I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.