This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
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Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.