North Korea, Best Korea!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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