Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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