He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
