Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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