At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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