K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
