Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The air was thick with penises
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize