Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
