Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm at about main and main street
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
