You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
