So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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