maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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