Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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