There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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