just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
