I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
